Echo of Dusk - Chapter XII
Mar. 23rd, 2008 01:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wild_terrainTitle: Echo of Dusk
Author: wild_terrain (ie. fi_chan)
Banner:
Chapter: [12/25?]
Rating: M
Genre: AU
Summary: Two men met one cold, winters day. One, a cook's assistant, the other a young lawyer. The year was 1950, when this instant attraction occurred... However, the threat of civil war loomed and the two found themselves faced with the risk of separation. Yunho swore he'd protect JaeJoong at all cost...but can he really?
~El Tango de Roxanne [Echo of Dusk ver.] - Feliciano, McGregor (3.37 MB) – DOWNLOAD!!
Min VS JaeHo:
His eyes upon your face
His hand upon your hand
His lips caress your skin
It's more than I can stand
~Falling Slowly – Glen Hansard (1.86 MB) – DOWNLOAD!!
Min vulnerable with umma!Jae:
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
You have a choice…
I was never bored with you around, Kim JaeJoong.
Even though you were two years older than me, you never treated me like an inferior. You were an older brother to me, and on the days when you couldn’t be, I’d be your older brother. You had my back and I had yours.
We were both stuck there having to obey orders and fight when we didn’t want to, so we understood each other. You were my best buddy.
When we first met you were really quiet and reserved. Just like me. That’s how we’d connected - as a 20 year-old in university, the war had seemed unsettling and you’d felt it too. Even though most of the time I tried to be strong, on the days when I wasn’t, you never judged me for it. I felt safest with you even though physically you were my inferior.
I remember you hated being weaker than me. I’d always win against you in our arm wrestling matches. So then you’d hit me, and I’d strike back harder. It made me laugh when your best effort to hit me barely bruised me. Hitting each other was our thing – emotional affection through physical violence, that sort of thing.
We had our routine of course. Wake up, make it through the hard day, and then after dinner we’d play our games. Our favourites were arm wrestling and strip poker, and you were the loser more frequently than you were victorious. You’d be sitting opposite me, down to your underwear and laughing like it was the funniest thing you’d ever done.
And then when it came time for bathing we’d chace each other into the river and try to push the most vulnerable of us into its depths. Even if you lost the race you’d still try attacking me until I fell in first.
It was the little things like that which made the war more bearable. But then he changed all that for me. At night you started spending more time with him. We didn’t have much time left for our games. We’d still enjoy the occasional card game but your lessened time with me grew more noticeable. I was used to change, it didn’t really bother me…and I still had you in the day time so I couldn’t complain too much.
Oh hyung, you had so much energy back then…it’s a little strange to see you barely moving in your bed now.
I still remember our first kiss. Do you? Do you ever think back on it?
We had been in the middle of an arm wrestling tournament. As we had steadied our arms, our faces were so close. The smell of you overwhelmed my nostrils until even my brain, heart and lungs were filled with the scent. And as your concentration spurred tiny marks onto your forehead, I stared down at your dark eyelashes and felt the ends of your hair tickling my temples. Your lips were opened up and looked so soft…like the velvety petal of a blooming rose.
With just that close proximity you managed to steal my concentration until my arm was suddenly slammed down and you were leering at me victoriously with that excited grin of yours.
I couldn’t let go of your hand…and I guess that’s when you started noticing the change in the atmosphere. You stared at my still face with a mixture of slight anxiety and confusion. Had your heart started racing like mine had? Just as we raced each other to the river, were our hearts racing in synch then as well?
I moved closer to you and your eyes slipped shut invitingly, but it all happened so fast I barely noticed. I took your bottom lip up in between mine and felt the wet, velvety skin with my tongue. As soon as I caressed it lightly with my teeth your mouth opened up to me and our tongues crashed together. It may have been sloppy, but I hadn’t wanted to wipe your saliva off my lips. It was mine to devour now.
We never ever went further than kissing…we were too scared and unsure of everything.
…You don’t know this, but once I accidentally woke up whilst you were touching yourself. Your sharp, breathy string of pants was additive to listen to. I’ll admit I was struck with indecision that night. I was immensely embarrassed to be overhearing you in that private moment of yours, because I had never heard anyone else masturbate before. And yet at the same time I wanted to keep hearing you. But then you called someone’s name out. Yunho.
Who the hell was Yunho? I had wondered. I only knew him as Captain Jung back then. I only realised his first name was Yunho when you accidentally called out to him informally one day when he was passing our line. He gazed back at you without a smile.
Yun…Ho… As the syllables slipped from your mouth that day it finally clicked. You had a crush on our captain! I couldn’t believe it! I didn’t blame you…he was tall, handsome, manly, skilled, perfected… but still it shocked me.
Since then, whenever he was near, I found myself watching your face to see how you reacted. Most of the time he’d barely look at you and yet you’d stay composed like it didn’t bother you. Who would have known what a huge secret the two of you were hiding…
It was only occasionally that I’d catch you staring out at him with that intense, silent longing. Like that time I caught you sitting alone in the rain as you watched him working below, organising weapon distribution for the line on duty.
I realised as I watched you that you did not like me as I had liked you. You were still waiting for someone else. You had sat completely immune to the pouring rain around you. Your hair was plastered to your head, but still you continued to observe Jung Yunho out in the distance, like you were desperate to be down there with him and make him proud of you.
Everything started from there. Our games grew less frequent as well as our nightly kisses…because he had called you over unexpectedly.
The night he came into our sleeping area and called you away he had sounded stern and…angry. You never returned that night. I had spent that whole night almost making myself sick with worry because I hadn’t been able to forget his expression as he called you away. I was so terrified he had somehow found out about your crush on him and now he was lecturing you or even punishing you over it. I didn’t want you to be hurt…neither physically nor emotionally.
It had been the only reason I could think of for your absence -your admiration and longing for him seemed so obvious to me, I was surprised no one else had noticed. You were young…an innocent boy from the country, what did you know about the harsh personalities from the cities and the cruelty of love? I was even younger than you, but I had grown up there in
I was surprised most of all when you returned the next morning as the same bubbly, energetic boy that had left…as if nothing had happened. I demanded to know what the Captain had wanted and you assured me you weren’t in trouble. You told me that the both of you had been friends before the war and it was the first night he had had time to catch up with you. That’s all… You swore you just talked and then fell asleep in his bed. I, who had slept on the hard ground, had teased you in relief, saying that I had suffered whilst you had slept like a king. I may have even whacked you one.
You both were careful. I never grew suspicious of you until many months later. Each night you had pretended to sleep next to me and then went off to meet him in his tent, returning early in the morning before anyone woke up.
You had been sneaking away for months before I noticed it. I woke up one night and you weren’t there. I assumed you had gone for a nightly toilet break and I fell back asleep. I didn’t even suspect you in the morning; it had barely registered in my memory.
Once I asked you naively if he knew about your crush on him. You looked embarrassed and exclaimed that you bloody well hoped not because you didn’t want the Captain to feel awkward around you. You were always a shocking liar, but this time you managed to step it up a notch when your hidden relationship was in danger. I never saw that you had lied to me that time.
We still mucked around together, teased each other, and chased each other. Our innocence was so relaxing and enjoyable. So the day I noticed it had been stolen from you…it crushed me like nothing I had felt before. It hurt more than the burn on my shoulder…it made me sicker than when I saw the soldiers lying with their insides splattered everywhere.
You were scary now. I didn’t want to look at you. I especially didn’t want to look at him. Every order he gave me I’d barely fulfil…my hatred from him was too strong. Because I had been too innocent that night I saw you…I wasn’t prepare for any of it.
I still haven’t forgiven him.
“Hurry up, Shim!” someone yelled.
I grunted in annoyance and finished tying up my boots. I had finally copped the dreaded night shift and was cranky as hell. I only functioned if I had at least eight hours sleep per night. Tonight would certainly kill me. And what if the Reds actually tried overstepping the boundaries and actually came into camp! That would be so problematic for me. Would this stress never end?!
JaeJoong patted my shoulder in sympathy. He knew how grumpy I felt without enough sleep.
“Help me!” I whined.
He shook his head in horror.
“Hyung, switch with me! I’ll wipe your boots! I’ll make you breakfast! I’ll teach you some Chinese!”
“Why would I want to speak Chinese?” he replied in aghast.
“So you can swear at the enemy and feel fulfilled?” I tried.
“Nice try. Your offer is very irresistible, but alas…I must pass.”
“Wo ai ni, hyung!”
“Are you swearing at me?!”
“No no!” I laughed. “I’m praising you and offering my love!”
“Thanks, Min.”
“So will you swap with me?”
“No.”
“Then I take my love back.”
“You can’t just take it back!”
“Yes I can. The love was never yours; I can take it back anytime I want. Because you aren’t my brother anymore!” I huffed.
His eyes were bulging as he hit my arm. I whacked him back with a grin. He hit me harder. I hit him even harder. It was a useless cycle.
“SHIM!” the soldier yelled in annoyance, still waiting for me to relieve his guard duty.
“Look at me, hyung,” I suddenly demanded, grabbing his shoulders urgently. “Remember my face. Please. I beg you.”
“Why?”
“Come morning, I’m going to look like a saggy old man with dried up skin and leumonia.”
“Ooh, how fascinating,” he teased excitedly.
“Hyung! Remember my beauty. They’ll have stolen it by morning…those self-righteous, institutionally backwards, Red bastards!”
He burst out laughing at my bluntness and held onto my hand as he led me forcefully outside towards the other soldier.
Duty was boring as expected. A few men were having a late bath in the river and I quickly looked away in disgust. It was weird…I had never really fancied a man’s body before I had met JaeJoong. Anyone else’s body made me shudder to see naked. That’s why I was confused when I became best friends with JaeJoongie. He was pretty, but he was still a man. I couldn’t figure out any theory to explain away my feelings towards him. I knew a lot of it had been started with admiration…I had never met somebody so warm before. I wanted to have that warmth which I knew I lacked in comparison.
And yet now I had started kissing him. Well, we hadn’t lately because JaeJoong had finally admitted to my face that he liked Captain Jung. It was just kissing…I couldn’t understand why he’d been too awkward to kiss me now…he’d never been shy to it before…
I smiled at how timid and innocent he was. I felt like a perverted ape around him sometimes.
I continued wandering around in boredom until I heard familiar laughter and turned around. I loved JaeJoong’s melodic giggles; hearing them always almost set me off as well. I thought maybe he had wanted to sneak up behind me to tease me like he sometime had tried to do in the past. But then it occurred to me that it was too far away for that.
Ahh. He was talking to Captain Jung.
"Sorry dear hyung, you’ll have to stick with the Captain tonight, for I am definitely not available to entertain you," I sighed, wandering miserably over to the Captain’s tent.
They must have been looking at something because as I peered at the tent, the candle was lit from within, casting their shadows out which I could perfectly see as I wandered closer. They were bent over something and JaeJoong was laughing even louder. It was almost as if he was being tickled…but it was such an absurd notion that I dismissed it. I could not picture Captain Jung ever trying to tickle someone…especially with that serious face of his.
Maybe he was showing JaeJoong a letter or a newspaper or something. I’m not sure why that would make JaeJoong laugh that hard, but anything was possible with that silly boy.
I smiled and stood outside watching. I was standing on the edge closest to the forest behind me so I could still keep an eye out for intruders.
I shoved my hands into my pockets to find some sort of warmth for myself in the dreary winter’s night. I scanned the forest behind me, as JaeJoong’s giggling finally begun to die down. It was nice that he got along so well with the Captain; it was almost like I was a step above everyone else because I was friends with the Captain’s friend.
I tried not to sneeze as a cold breeze irritated my nostrils and turned back to the now quiet tent. One of them was sitting up…I couldn’t see where the other was.
I wondered in amusement if the Captain knew that with the candle lit, people could see his shadow. How careless of him…
I yawned, letting the shadows entertain me. The Captain was taking his shirt off, getting ready for bed. I waited for JaeJoong to come back out. Surely he had taken the hint that the Captain wanted to sleep now.
But JaeJoong wasn’t coming out.
I frowned and continued watching as the Captain sat down on his bed. What was JaeJoong doing? Was the Captain going to let him spend the night again? Had JaeJoong whined and whined until the Captain agreed to let JaeJoong sponge off him for the comfy bed? That JaeJoong… I grinned.
My smile vanished when I saw something that didn’t look right. JaeJoong’s shirt was being pulled over his head by the Captain and then he was pushed down. It was getting harder to tell what they were doing from the abstract, ambiguous shadows, but for some reason I was feeling uneasy.
It looked like they were sleeping again…but no…they weren’t because their heads were still moving and the candle was still alight.
As if I had forecasted the future, everything went dark again as they finally blew the damn thing out.
I was contemplating whether to start walking around camp again to keep myself awake…but the uneasiness wouldn’t leave me. That push had looked so rough…
A harsh exclamation pierced the air and I almost stumbled backwards in alarm. It had sounded like JaeJoong but…maybe my ears were playing tricks on me since it was hours past my bedtime.
My heart rate skyrocketed as I heard that terrifying exclamation again…it was almost like he was in pain…but that didn’t make any sense at all.
I crept closer suspiciously until I was almost touching the tent fabric.
A deep groan was eventually flung into the air from the Captain. What on earth was going on! The strange noises were terrifying me in ways I couldn’t explain.
And then JaeJoong moaned…and everything was suddenly clear to me. I had heard JaeJoong moaning like this before…it had been late at night and he had been pleasuring himself. He had been aroused…deeply aroused.
And now…
I stumbled backwards, almost falling down hard as my legs gave way. I started rocking backwards and forwards on the ground, my hands grasping at my ears desperately as the moaning continued on and on. Each sound was smashing painfully into my consciousness.
As the Captain continued to hurt JaeJoong, I gripped my hair angrily with my shaking fingers. JaeJoong had been gigging and laughing before and now…he was being violated.
I winced every time JaeJoong whimpered and groaned.
He was…
The Captain made…
His body…
They…
Sex…
I closed my eyes, trying to shut out the heartbreaking sounds as my hyung was stripped of all his innocence.
I couldn’t stop the visuals either. I could see them in my mind…JaeJoong’s heavenly pale body sweating and crushed under the Captain’s large body. The Captain’s dirty, disgusting penis digging into JaeJoong’s body, wiping away its purity with every thrust.
Why was JaeJoong letting him do this disgusting act with him?! Why was JaeJoong giving him his precious body? Why was JaeJoong acting like a common prostitute?! Why was he having sex with the Captain? Just because JaeJoong really liked him…he was giving that man his body?!
The Captain must have known JaeJoong liked him. Jaejoong should have tried better to hide it! Now he was being used for pleasure by that over-powered ass!
I wanted to run in there and make them stop so JaeJoong could go free. But I was too scared to move…I was too scared to view with my own eyes the Captain thrusting into my hyung.
The sound of the bed frame creaking was killing me. In the suffocating, dark night it was all I could hear, deafening my eardrums. The Captain’s moans of ecstasy were almost killing me inside just as much.
How dare he do such a thing to my hyung! Taking advantage of his poorly disguised feelings like that! HOW COULD HE!
I wanted to cry, scream and throw up all at the same time.
How long had this been going on for?! Since that first night he called JaeJoong away? JaeJoong hadn’t returned that night…had he been tricked into sex then as well?! This had been happening before?! How many times?! How many times had I held JaeJoong’s hand without realising it had already been tainted?
I blocked my ears again and whimpered as JaeJoong yelled out in his climax. I couldn’t take it… I couldn’t take any of this.
This disappointment…
This insecurity…
This confusion…
This anger.
Jung Yunho…how could you do that to him…
JaeJoong…how could you let this happen?
The Captain of this camp…was abusing his subordinates. How many others were there? Or was my hyung the only one foolish enough to let him get away with it?
This wasn’t love. This was something disgusting. Jung Yunho has never given JaeJoong any of the attention he deserves in the field! He treats JaeJoong like he’d barely be worth a second glance. How could it be that in the daylight there were no smiles, no acknowledgement…but at night sexual relations? Such violence and misuse… What a power-abusing fiend.
Jung Yunho.
How I hated that man.
I really was unable to look at you properly for a few days after that. After my duty I had cowered in my sleeping spot, unable to breathe properly or digest what horrors I had witnessed that night.
Since then, even if you were just sitting nearby, my mind would start playing tricks on me and all I could see was you lying down there…with him in between your legs and touching your naked skin. My imagination caused more harm to me than the scrapes on my arms or the burns on my legs from the explosions.
In the morning after I heard your erotic night with the Captain, you had tried teasing me about my own late night adventures on guard duty, fending off frost bite and ‘self-righteous, institutionally-backwards, Red bastards’. You had tried examining my face for the disfiguration I had prophesised about the last time we spoke. But I had avoided looking at you and swatted you away. On the outside it looked playful, but on the inside I was holding the pieces of my shattered soul and examining the damage.
How could I ever look at you again after knowing what had been happening? After knowing you were a man and horribly tainted. After knowing you had been keeping this from me. After knowing that you still talked to that man as if he deserved respect still…
I knew that morning that I could never view Jung Yunho in the same way again. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to respect him ever again. And I haven’t.
That next night had been one of the hardest I’d ever lived through. I couldn’t get to sleep. Fatigue was irrelevant; I couldn’t let myself fall asleep knowing you’d eventually leave again. So I lay there…waiting.
And I heard you getting up. You walked away. My heart was bleeding for you. I couldn’t let you go, I just couldn’t. I couldn’t stand hearing you walk away knowing where you were going, knowing what you’d be doing with him…
“Hyung, where are you going?”
You turned around in shock. I’d almost given you a cardiac arrest. I silently dared you to tell me the truth.
“I need to pee!”
I knew you didn’t.
“Wait up! I need to as well. I’ll come with you!”
We stood awkwardly outside. I tried to talk my bladder into behaving but nothing was happening. I didn’t need to go; I just couldn’t let you leave. Of course you couldn’t relieve your bladder either. But neither of us said a word about it.
You had no choice but to come back with me. As we lay down I couldn’t stop feeling upset. I needed you. I needed you much more that he did.
“Hyung…do you ever feel lonely here?”
“Sometimes…”
“I do. A lot of the time I am. But it won’t go away.”
I looked at you. “Hold me…” I begged.
I must have looked really depressed and vulnerable… I could feel it inside me but I didn’t realise how evident it was on my face.
So you did hold me. You let me rest close to you. That is why I love you JaeJoong, because you always put everyone else before your own needs.
That night I heard footsteps. I didn’t open my eyes so I’ll never know if it had been him coming to look for you. Maybe it hadn’t been him because the footsteps left without any fuss. He would never have let me have you so easily…
The next night I knew I couldn’t stop you from leaving this time. You had done so much for me the night before; I didn’t have the heart to spoil this one for you.
I wonder… If I had grabbed your hands and begged you with all my heart not to go to him…would you have listened to me? I’d never know.
So you left and didn’t return for hours. That was the first and last night I ever cried. And when you came back and settled down bedside me I couldn’t look at you again.
To this day I can’t understand why you let him do all that to you. I know you had a soul-consuming crush on him but…was it really worth all that just to feel him inside you? Even though he didn’t see you as anything but a pleasurable toy? Yes…of course it would have been worth it…I know because I would have done anything for you as well.
And then you saved me in that fight…only to disappear before all our eyes. I thought it had hurt when I woke up and you weren’t there because you were letting the Captain fuck you. I didn’t know how much worse it felt to wake up knowing you weren’t there because you just weren’t.
For one fleeting moment I had actually considered that he might have loved you, because when you left I saw him change. He became more intimidating then ever before. I knew a lot of soldiers who became terrified of him. But I stood my ground and didn’t let him scare me.
So I let him give me crap and blame me for his loss. But then his attitude never changed…he was always angry, always irritable, always impenetrable… He was never weak or sad as someone who lost their ‘love’ would have been. He was just a cranky, sexually frustrated asshole.
So the last specs of hope that had somehow grown for him were crudely swiped away. I started giving crap back to him because he didn’t deserve only silence from those too afraid to talk back at him.
He could be a bitter old man if he wanted. I refused to be bitter because you had left me with a precious gift; you had given me protection and left him with nothing. When you held me and took me away from the fighting, you had weaved powerful armour into my skin. I wouldn’t let you down; I knew I’d keep fighting for you so that your sacrifice wouldn’t go to waste.
I still love you JaeJoong… You are loved in ways he couldn’t ever love you in. Even though you want it from him and not me, it’s there if you ever need it. If ever you realise you deserve better than him…the man who didn’t even have enough heart to let me know you were back. I thought he had deserted the camp because he was a weak, selfish man… I didn’t know he had come back with you. To think you had been sleeping in the camp whilst I was still lonely, thinking you were lost forever.
I let out a depressed sigh and started playing with JaeJoong’s hand again.
Seeing you like this…it scares me. I want to hold your hand forever so that you have some support. You look sad, you look lifeless. How can I help you, hyung?
You look so vulnerable when you sleep. You always have, but especially now that you’ve returned it’s grown more vivid. What did you experience when you were away? How badly did they treat you and the rest of the prisoners? How did you manage to convince the Chinese doctor to help you escape…?
I wonder if, when you’re awake, you’ll ever tell me these things.
But for now all I can do is hold your hand and let you know I’m still here for you if you need me…
My precious hyung.
///TBC///
I find it interesting how Changmin witnessing JaeJoong having sex with another man and supposedly losing his ‘innocence’ from it, mirrors what actually happened to JaeJoong when he was taken away in NK. The important thing to note though is that despite all Changmin’s convictions against Yunho, Yunho never emotionally rejected Jae after learning other people had touched him like that… whereas Min did (well he was a lot younger and naïve ><). So kudos to you, Yunho! *salutes*
Now it's your turn, commentary is always welcome ^^
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-03-23 03:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-23 03:43 am (UTC)Again, good chapter. Now I don't want Changmin to know what happened to JJ in NK, I won't be able to bear it. (his reaction, I mean, plus the emotional burden afterwards) XD As usual I like the pace and the characterizations, and I'm loving you more and more for such wonderful writing.
Looking forward to the next chapters. And oh! I'm planning to dl all the songs you've put up for this arc, can I bother you to re-up them just in case the links are broken? :)
Thanks dearie!
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2008-03-23 03:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-24 11:27 am (UTC)Oh heck yes, it would drive me crazy watching someone I had a crush on getting along better with someone else to the extremes that its reciprocated T_T.
Yeh Min is only a virgin to love and relationships like Jae. It's natural that he'd find some things hard to understand. His heart was broken as well which doesn't help. Oh Minnie T____T
I'm glad you loved the chap! Thanks so much! <33
no subject
Date: 2008-03-23 03:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-23 04:05 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2008-03-23 04:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-24 11:35 am (UTC)HAHA I'd call Min an angsty teenager but...he's already 22 in the fic ^^;;
Gah, this reply sucks coz I'm falling asleep gradually, but you know how much I love you ^___~
no subject
Date: 2008-03-23 04:18 am (UTC)<3333333333333 to you ^^.
no subject
Date: 2008-03-24 11:43 am (UTC)Oh gosh, Min really is misunderstanding a lot~~. But yes, his naivety and newness to love certainly doesn't help things. Having his heart broken sure had an impact! ><
I'm sure Yunho's treatment has hardened him more now... Maybe he'll eventually see it for what it really is? *stares angrily at fingers, NO U CANNOT TYPE A SPOILER YOU BLOODY THINGS!* haha~
ILU too! <3333
no subject
Date: 2008-03-23 04:28 am (UTC)i really love you.
WO AI NI<3333333
ni ai wo right?
so you'll update sooon?
no subject
Date: 2008-03-24 11:45 am (UTC)Tee hee!
ni ai wo right?
Yep yep, of course!! How could I not ^_~
Thanks for your comment hun! I'll update once my assignments stop attacking me T_T
no subject
Date: 2008-03-23 04:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-23 07:59 am (UTC)And I totally agree with your A/N. At the time JJ willingly had sex with Yunho, still Min couldnt accept it. So how would he have reacted if he had been actually JJ's lover??? Being too innocent and worshiping JJ like a saint, Min certainly need such a long time to accept that traumatizing fact. Yeah, I know...I know...my Yunho is soooooo sympathetic and faithful *sorry, I am biasing AGAIN =______=*
I love the image that JJ giggled and laughed out loud when being with Yunho...wowwww, they are sooo cute ^^ If only Min knew how perverted his precious hyung could be, he even seduced our captain. Moreover, his hyung lost his innocence long time agoooo >____<
ChangMin's POV gave me a neutral vision from the outsiders (well...not really neutral but it still showed some of the other facts). And I am looking forward to YH's return...oh oh, let's see how JJ would confront YH with his airy promise. You are soooo dead, major ^^
P/S: YAHHH, SHIM CHANGMIN, let Jaejoongie's hand go!!!
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2008-03-23 05:15 am (UTC)so here i am, reading around 8 chapters in one go T___T;
god, what an awesome story ^^. -i think i've said this in my previous comment, but whatever XD- the previous ones successfully made my emotion upside down in agony. especially their reunion, very heart-touching. so, being back together doesn't solve everything.
now changmin, eh? well, knowing his background story in this chapter, i sympathize him more. unrequited love is never pretty. imo, these two people -yunho & changmin- being in this state is just because they didn't know each other well and were blinded by 'wrong' image they had towards each other in the first place. oh min, if only you knew how deep your Captain's love to your hyung. (he should witness yunho's heart-wrenching scene whe he saw jaejoong for the first time in the POW camp, for example). now, i'm a bit afraid of what would happen to him if he knew what jae experienced in POW camp. -really, was he that stupid not knowing general idea of how horrible that camp was?-. being innocent and somewhat naive like this, i wonder how hard it would break him.
i hope yunho & changmin would be in a good term in the end. ah, will we see junsu and yoochun later? i'm just curious ^^
oh, one more, hangeng rocks!! i really like this character here. he had a big 'hand' in yunjae relationship. i thank him a lot ^^ see you on next chapter, fi_chan.
-i love the soundtrack, too ^^-
~i thought i've added this LJ to my friends page. i think that's why i missed all the chapters before, since i rarely visit detox lately.. so, i add you ^^
no subject
Date: 2008-03-24 12:26 pm (UTC)Ho my! 8 chapters in one go? Well that's certainly a challenge, good luck my love~~ :P
LOL I completely understand. I rarely have time for detox as well. It's so hard keeping track. Plus I guess a legitimate excuse of mine is that I don't want other fic's ideas to subconsciously influence this one. ><
the previous ones successfully made my emotion upside down in agony. especially their reunion
Awww I am sorry! At least it means your getting the right stuff out of the fic ^^. Hopefully things will be winding down now that the major angst has already passed us T_T
these two people -yunho & changmin- being in this state is just because they didn't know each other well and were blinded by 'wrong' image they had towards each other in the first place.
It really is unfortunate, isn't it! And now it's snow-balled into extremes so they are viewing every action from each other into negativity.
It's a shame they are like this, I'm sure they'd be great together... They both love teasing JaeJoong in their own ways...they'd make a fantastic team if ever they wanted to gang up on JJ... XD
i'm a bit afraid of what would happen to him if he knew what jae experienced in POW camp
Yeh so true. I wouldn't necessarily call Min stupid for the POV thing...more naive. He can see that horrible things have happened to change JaeJoong but he obviously wouldn't have considered rape ><
But you definitely have a point there. How WOULD Min have coped if he had been the one rescuing Jae. Perhaps he would have come back out of the camp without Jae because he felt he couldn't handle going further...or perhaps he would have been launched into that dire shock which Yunho experienced, but unable to keep fighting against everything since he lacks Yunho's maturity. I personally think he wouldn't have been able to be as strong as Yunho in that situation regardless of how much he loved Jae...
i hope yunho & changmin would be in a good term in the end. ah, will we see junsu and yoochun later? i'm just curious ^^
Hehe only time will tell for those two.
ANd no worries, you're not the first to ask. Yes, in the post-war section of the fic Junsu and Yoochun are characters - especially Chun. Please look forward to it :P
HAHAH yes we can't forget about Hangeng. Oh how I love that man XD. Glad you love him too ^^
Thanks for finding this again! Hope you continue to enjoy. *hug* <333
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Date: 2008-03-23 05:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-23 06:22 am (UTC)aahh dearest min *giggles like spastic*
Hehe swearing in Chinese "wo ai ni"
apart from many spelling errors in your fic, your author notes seriously sound like sac terms O_O
My dearest min ill happily take jaes place XDDDD
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Date: 2008-03-23 07:34 am (UTC)first, i love this song. Gah when i first saw Moulin Rouge and this scene, my god, my heart was racing and i felt his pain and anguish. And his voice is awesome, he has such a wonderful voice and hes hot too. ^^
But then you called someone’s name out. Yunho.
OOOOOOOOHHHH YUNHO! oh Jae, i'm sure you arent the only one in this world to call out his name in the mist of.... *cough* happy time. XD
Yun…Ho… As the syllables slipped from your mouth that day it finally clicked. You had a crush on our captain! I couldn’t believe it! I didn’t blame you…he was tall, handsome, manly, skilled, perfected… but still it shocked me.
Oh and what a wonderful name it is. Yunho. Jung Yunho. Shit, i'd have a crush on him too.. in a uniform. tall, handsome, manly, skilled, perfected, long legs, can dance... muscles... his smilllllee and cant forget, his small head. XDDD
I realised as I watched you that you did not like me as I had liked you. You were still waiting for someone else. You had sat completely immune to the pouring rain around you. Your hair was plastered to your head, but still you continued to observe Jung Yunho out in the distance, like you were desperate to be down there with him and make him proud of you.
Rain, wet, Yunho + rain, wet, JaeJoong = dying me. All their clothes plastered to their bodies... *cough* anyways before i get carried away. i think thats how they are in real life ne? i think Jae wants Yunho to be proud of him and he does alot of things, just to see Yunho's proud smile. He wants to make papa proud. XDD
I was so terrified he had somehow found out about your crush on him and now he was lecturing you or even punishing you over it. I didn’t want you to be hurt…neither physically nor emotionally.
Yunho would never hurt Jae, well intentionally anyways. Ah silly silly Min. *snuggles Min*
You told me that the both of you had been friends before the war and it was the first night he had had time to catch up with you.
Haha, friends. I dont think they were ever only friends. In real life and in this. They've always had such a ..special friendship. I think mini-jung wanted to be happy with mini-kim.
I think its kinda funny how Min sees as Jae's innocence being stolen from him while Yunho still sees that in him. Instead of being.. supportive? he sees Jae as this broken doll in a sense. Something that all rape victims hate being scene as. I never wanted any of my friends looking at me that way cause i'm strong and better than all that. I think Jae would feel the same way ne? Hes a strong person and he can overcome this, no matter how long it takes. Kinda sad that Min doesn't see it that way but its understandable too.
Gah Min and his misunderstandings! i wanna go over there and hit him over the head for being so silly. Yunho? taking advantage of Jae? the minute Jae says no Yunho would be up and off of him and ten feet away. The things Yunho did for Jae when he was captured, all he did to try and save Jae. All of this Min doesnt know and yet he just hates him cause of what he sees. *shakes head* oh min. my poor minnie. >.<
When i was reading the sex scene between Jaeho and Min was listening, i was at the.. peak of the song, tango roxanne and it was just so.. BAM! haha it was weird. Even after Yunho knows what happened to Jae, Yunho still loves and adores him. Its sad that Min doesn't feel that way either. Maybe later on he'll understand. *poke* is Jae ever going to tell him what happened? what Yunho did? maybe help Min understand?
Ah twin, you made my heart race with this chapter and the song. I adored it~ helped see things in a different perspective. I never thought of seeing things that way.
Alright, my absurdly long comment is finally finished... i think. XDDD ♥♥♥
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Date: 2008-03-26 09:13 am (UTC)OMG Hell yes for Moulin Rouge! I practically burnt a hole through the OST listening to that song, haha. And Ewan...oh I had such a crush on him because of that movie! I had wallpapers and everything! But then he cut his hair for Star Wars and I was devastated! Apparently it was only a shallow crush coz I haven't really cared much since. XD
I felt his pain in the movie too. It's such a friggen powerful scene! And the dancers acting it out in that hall... And him wandering in angst down the road to her... Oh my heart! ><
GAH twin power! As I was reading through the chap before posting the same thing happened - right at the climax Roxanne was climaxing as well (lol that sounds like I'm describing some woman during sex XD) and it was so WOAH. I had to take a time-out, HAHA!
oh Jae, i'm sure you arent the only one in this world to call out his name in the mist of.... *cough* happy time. XD
OH TWIN, you seriously need to consider a career in stand-up comedy!! God... happy time. My mum and I were just discussing happy time a few mins ago! (Please don't ask. I get my perversion from her evidently...)
I agree of course...many a person (let's not discriminate against the genders :P) would have thought of him. I wonder how he'd react if he ever thinks about it... LOL!
Bwahaha are you implying that you get turned on by his small head? (I meant the smexy one on the top of his neck, FYI. HAHA!)
AHhh yes soaking wet JaeHo... What I wouldn't kill to ever witness such an awesome phenomenon! The best we can get is sweaty-ness and tight
and horrifically tackyclothing in concerts which reveal their nip-nips to us!Or there is the occasional photobook, Jiwhaza!Yunho, Happy together!Yunho... mmmm Korean variety shows I totally sell my soul to you.
Jae making appa proud...mm yes. I love how he always talks in interviews whilst looking at Yunho to see if leader-shii approves! Or in general trying his best in tasks he (and we) know he's gonna suck at... *squeals coz of that indirect JaeHo comment Yunho made in bigeastaion about his ideal person trying their hardest despite at everything despite looming failure etc etc*
I dont think they were ever only friends. In real life and in this. They've always had such a ..special friendship. I think mini-jung wanted to be happy with mini-kim.
AHh so true. It's so hard to define. I wonder if THEY can even define what they share! I also wonder if they felt things from the get-go!
And LOL mini-JaeHos...
You are seriously so sweet for sharing all your thoughts regarding what happened to you with me! Good on you girl!
ANd yeh...in the fic even Yunho has his moments where he underestimates Jae's emotional strength. OOPS was that a spoiler? No it wasn't....totally wasn't... LA LA LA. :P
Maybe later on he'll understand. *poke* is Jae ever going to tell him what happened? what Yunho did? maybe help Min understand?
Yeh Min is too quick to judge in his youth ^^
To be honest, originally I never really planned anything along the lines of a Min revelation. But then as I was writing, the story just took off without me (very sad!) so... Min will understand better soon ^^
Okay...I was typing this whilst eating my dinner (I'm hungrrry, whaaat!) so now there is sauce on my arm. I think it's a sign to back away from the keyboard ahaha!
Thanks for your awesome comment twin! Glad you understand Minnie better! <33333
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Date: 2008-03-23 07:40 am (UTC)Ah....Love and youth really don't really mixes well sometimes huh? I do agree to a large extend that Changmin's perception of love is still very naive and a little unrealistic. He did said that he loves Jaejoong but I don't think he really loves Jaejoong that much. Well to me, at least not as deep as our resident hero/hunk aka Jung Yunho, major pain in the ass...
If you are really in love with a person, you'll love him and accept him for all he is - even though other people had touched him (abeit forced and non consensual). Here, like you, I wanna salute Yunho for his faith in love and maturity in understanding and handling situations.
I agree with you on your opinion about Yunho. All along, I have tremendous respects for Yunho; for who he is and especially for his magnanimosity in accepting Jaejoong back even though Jaejoong was "tainted"...well, maybe age and maturity does make a difference here...as we can see between Yunho and Changmin.
However, I must stress that what the Yunjae shared is totally different from what the Jaemin shared in the first place. The Jaemin's friendship and relationship was less deep and never sexually, so I guess to be fair to Changmin, it would be so much more harder for Changmin to accept Jae after he was being "tainted".
And with regards to Changmin's opinion on Yunho here, I found that jealousy has actually more or less blinded Changmin from seeing the truth, from allowing him to really seeing Yunho for who he is. His opinion towards Yunho is all skewed cause he felt that Yunho was the one who stole "his" Jaejoong's innocence away. And so, many things that Yunho did (even though there were reasons) seems very much unreasonable to him. In addition, he felt that he's being "victimised" here. However, if Changmin had understood that HE is actually the third party in the love equation here, he would see things is a whole new perspective.
Woman!!! I love this POV!! It helps us to understand Changmin's feeling so much more...
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Date: 2008-03-26 09:35 am (UTC)I promised I'd back away from the keyboard after replying to Sexineko's comment to eat my dinner(due to an unfortunate incident involving sauce on my arm HAHA) but now I can't be bothered. Yes..hmm...I just had to share that...so that if I get more sauce on me I can complain to someone. XD
If you are really in love with a person, you'll love him and accept him for all he is
Ahh indeed, indeed. Disregarding Min's naivety for a second, I think shock was also what played a major part in his reaction. He had never seemed to consider Jae in that context before so it hit him harder. At least Yunho had considered Jae in that sexual context (many, many times, BWAHAHAHA *perversion outburst*) so he had a different sort of shock to deal with. After it happened Min still wanted Jae to "hold" him and whatever else so he didn't necessarily reject Jae completely.
He did said that he loves Jaejoong but I don't think he really loves Jaejoong that much. Well to me, at least not as deep as our resident hero/hunk aka Jung Yunho, major pain in the ass...
Hmmm who knows ^_~. He seems to love Jae in a different way to Yunho. Yunho's seems more deep and fulfilling - he loves Jae for the companionship as well as the...er...erotic pleasure LOL. Whereas Min is very big on the companionship element with a horny kiss here and there, hehe.
...well, maybe age and maturity does make a difference here...as we can see between Yunho and Changmin.
Ooh definitely. When comparing the two's relationship/actions with JaaeJoong it really seems to highlight the different nature of the relationships. We can see what Changmin is missing. Poor bubby, he barely had time to start anything ><
The Jaemin's friendship and relationship was less deep and never sexually, so I guess to be fair to Changmin, it would be so much more harder for Changmin to accept Jae after he was being "tainted".
LOL I said that sort of theory a few sentences back... great minds!!
And with regards to Changmin's opinion on Yunho here, I found that jealousy has actually more or less blinded Changmin from seeing the truth, from allowing him to really seeing Yunho for who he is.
*nod nod*
I honestly think that with Min's state of mind, even if there was some blatant noble action from Yunho he'd manage to find some way to put a negative spin on it. Jealously/grudges really are rough, eh... That automatic 'grr' feeling is hard to suppress with the person you have a grudge against. Doesn't help HoMin's already clashing personalities ><
In addition, he felt that he's being "victimised" here. However, if Changmin had understood that HE is actually the third party in the love equation here, he would see things is a whole new perspective.
Hehhe, very good point! Something you might
*cough* do *cough*get to sink your teeth into more in the next chapter. Min's so...sensitive and testy because he only knows half of the picture. Once he's more aware of the situation it might be easier for him understand properly.Glad you enjoyed Minnie's POV! He really needs a chance to voice things out T_T
Much love! <333
(P.S, havent actually checked over this comment. Apologies in advance if my sentence make less sense than even my brain XD)
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Date: 2008-03-23 09:01 am (UTC)sorry kiddo, try to understand your joongie-hyung, and don't be like that to the captain of joongie's heart (cheesy). nyah?!! yunnie's not sooo bad if you actually try to get to know him. you shouldn't be having those kind of thoughts about your umma anyways. appa will surely be angry at you.
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Date: 2008-03-26 09:40 am (UTC)minnie, i'm sorry to say this but our jaejoongie loves it when his captain yunnie "violates" him. tehee!♥
*bursts out laughing* ohh stopppp it, you're gonna trigger my perverted side XD.
you shouldn't be having those kind of thoughts about your umma anyways. appa will surely be angry at you.
Lol because of incest?? AHAHHAHA!! But yes, umma's all for appa only ^^
Thanks for reading hun! Your comment was hilarious. <3
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Date: 2008-03-23 09:59 am (UTC)i feel sorry for min..why?because he couldn't see their love..*sigh*
thanks for updating dear~♥
sorry for the short comment,but i'm not feeling well today..although i should've been in bed to rest..i couldn't wait to read this update of yours..aren't you proud of me?!XD
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Date: 2008-03-26 09:44 am (UTC)YES...Go Yunnie!
Ahh yes, poor Min is a little lost. He was only seeing half of the picture...he never considered why Yunho had to remain extra professional around Joongie in public. Hopefully if he saw the rest of the situation he would have a better understanding T_T
You poor thing! Feeling off is just horrible. I hope the bed rest had some sort of healing agent. Either that or JaeHo magic... lol.
ANd yes of course I am proud of you! But I just hope the fic didn't aggravate whatever you have ^^;;
*hug* You are so awesome. <333
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Date: 2008-03-23 01:35 pm (UTC)I have to gather thoughts but I have so much to say. I like Changmin's character so much better now than before reading this chapter. BRB!
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Date: 2008-03-26 09:48 am (UTC)SO awesome to hear that you understand Changmin better though! I feel so sorry for him... T_T
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Date: 2008-03-23 02:12 pm (UTC)I mean...the way Changmin looks out for JaeJoong and stuff...a little selfish...but cute XD
BUT (now here it comes)...he has it SO wrong!
DUde...why doesn't he realize that maybe JaeJoong WANTS to be with Yunho...and Yunho wants to be with JaeJoong as well oÔ
Changmin just down't want to see that there is someone else in this bright (XD) world that loves JaeJoong dearly! And it's not HanKyung XD!
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Date: 2008-03-27 11:46 am (UTC)Aww yes it is sorta cute eh! Like a little bro being all protective and thinking he's a tough little warrior XD
Yes yes, loving the "BUT" haha!!
I guess he doesn't realise it's mutual because his shock, ignorance and jealousy are all meshing together to distort his logical thinking? Because obviously when Yunho isnt Mr Captain he's going to act differently anyway ^^;;. Oh Minnie...
Thanks heaps for reading dear! <3
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Date: 2008-03-23 02:22 pm (UTC)My real name is Angelica( from the word angelic ;) hehe), born 93 and I live in Sweden. The thing that sux though is that you're like 10 hours a head of me T_T so now it's like 1 am where you live and 3 pm here O_o
Well to this chap. Now I can see why Changmin hates Yunho so much. Our lovely, dorky, sexy captain Jung <3 But still can't he figure out by himself that maybe there's a chance that they make love because they're in love and not just out of pleasure? O_o Slow,slow Changminnie. *shakes head*
I really dunno what to say except that I love these: O_o XD As you may have noticed xD hehe~~
You update fast, you crazy ricecake. Okay now I gotta go to do some stuff. Hehe read other jaeho fics ^_^" But don't worry you're still my favourite ^^
Update ASAP! Bye my little gay husband, the ricecake of my heart <3
Byee~~<33(<-- two heart today!:O This is special! O_O )
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Date: 2008-03-27 11:55 am (UTC)My real name is Angelica( from the word angelic ;) hehe
LOL!! I'm totally loving the self promoting thing! :D. How lovely~~ to have a name like that.
OOOH Sweden!! I've always had respect...because ABBA came from there, LOL! Shameless I know but...ABBA were so brilliant T_T
Time difference is quite funny...you'd be up and about in the nice bright daylight and I'm about to go to bed XD.
But still can't he figure out by himself that maybe there's a chance that they make love because they're in love and not just out of pleasure? O_o
Aww I know. I guess his shock, ignorance, jealousy and heartbreak are all meshing together to interfere with his logical thinking. He's got a grudge against Yunho and nothing can make him think otherwise in that mindset of his ><
Let's give him time to learn what he's interpreting wrong. ^^
Awww I'm your fav? Well well, flattering the author always has its advantages *mails you JaeHo porn* LOL jk~
Thanks so much Queenie! You are too sweeeeet! I shall always love you and your O_os, OMGs and two hearts! (Ooh unintentional Changmin solo pun xD)
*hug* <333
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Date: 2008-03-23 02:37 pm (UTC)thanks
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Date: 2008-03-27 11:58 am (UTC)LOL you only liked him now XD. Glad miracles can happen! Tee hee~
Thanks heaps for reading! *hug* <33
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Date: 2008-03-23 03:15 pm (UTC)You're really still young and...still didn't understand what love really is...
The feeling you get for Jae...maybe just a crush...
Yes..kudos to YunHo... ^__^
Fufufufufuuf....
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Date: 2008-03-27 12:02 pm (UTC)Ahhh yes that is so true! He is too young to understand certain aspects of love without making rash judgments on them T_T
As in Min's feeling for Jae is like a crush? WHo knows, hehe. But we can deduce from this that JaeHo's love is more mature and developed than JaeMin... not that Min ever had a chance to start anything deeper >< *hugs the poor Minnie*
Kudos to Yunnie indeed! *gives him a special dose of JaeJoong's jiggae soup* hehe
Thanks heaps for reading dear! <333
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Date: 2008-03-23 03:26 pm (UTC)YAY Changmins pov and how it all is seen from his sight *Jumps up and down in happiness* I love this fic more and more..
Changmin overhearing jaeho sex... *falls down my bed*
Poor him, I feel his pain.. if he ends of too sad I'm going to use those tissues my sister nearly throw out if you remember..
Thanks for the great update.. YEY looking forward to next Sunday MUAHAHAH
(oh my.. I'm so hyper today?)
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Date: 2008-03-27 12:07 pm (UTC)Bwahha yes yes I updated and made everything Min Land~ XD
Changmin overhearing jaeho sex... *falls down my bed*
LOL! Ack, hope there were pillows at least ><
if he ends of too sad I'm going to use those tissues my sister nearly throw out if you remember..
Oh yes, of course I remember deary! Those tissues...god love 'em! Means I don't have to fork out more money to buy more replacements ^_~
You are so sweet! Loved the comment! Thanks hun! <333
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Date: 2008-03-23 04:25 pm (UTC)People are kind of scolding Minnie of how naive and immature he is, but I see it in a totally different way. I don’t know whether you wanted to portray this or not but it seems to me that Changmin is kind of an old-fashioned person, in a good way, who still believes in the sacredness of the first night, the love, the friendship, and it’s not that he rejected Jaejoong emotionally because of the act, he rather just realized that he will never be so important to Jaejoong as Yunho. Love can overcome all, if it exists mutually, but since it was always one-sided, who can blame Changmin for not loving Jaejooong blindly through years and years without any emotional return from the othe side. If anything, I am just a little bit happy that something (like this act) made Changmin see that he and Jaejoong are not made for each other.
The fact that Minnie thought that Yunho didn’t love Jaejoong is also not his fault or naivety, it’s just that Jaejoong never let Changmin into his emotional life so much that Minnie could possibly know that Yunho actually loved Jae back. The whole relationship was kept in perfect secret, it was just natural to think whatever came to his mind, if he didn’t have enough information in the first place. Yunho had a hard time without Jaejoong but Changmin also had a very hard time, and he bravely stood it getting strenght from the friendship and love he felt towards Jaejoong.
I see a very big difference between willingly giving yourself to someone who doesn’t love you, just wants to have your body, and being violated forcefully. I don’t think Changmin would hate Jaejoong for what happened to him in the camp. But it’s his right to feel a little bit strange towards the act of someone giving himself away just for getting sex. I know it wasn’t only sex between Yunho and Jae but from the outside where every feeling was hidden, it could easily look like that, so I can’t blame Changmin for his thoughts.
I think he is a very good-hearted and precious person who deserves to be loved back with equal intensity. I would smile if Hangeng and him…. Wo ai ni… hehe. I say this when I am not even a Changmin fan in real life but this chapter made me like him very much.
Maybe I wanted to say other things too but I don’t remember everything so that’s for now. Thank you for the lovely chapter. ♥
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Date: 2008-03-24 02:24 am (UTC)Sorry to butt in but I just wanna say something.
I don't think Jae ever has the intention of playing a double game with Changmin. What I could conclude is that Jae was too naive when he thought that he could ahem "use" Changmin to practice on. I think he felt that since Changmin likes him too, there's no harm er, in horning his kissing skills with Changmin. Both are adult and at that time, he genuinely like Changmin too.
I don't think Jae actually realised the consequences of his actions. Yeah, Jae could be a little selfish here, but I don't think he would ever want to hurt Changmin, his other true friend in the camp.
But I do agree with you that it was wrong of Jaejoong not to inform Changmin about his and Yunho's relationship back then. But I conclude 2 reasons of Jae's decision to not tell Changmin:
1) He didn't want to hurt Min cause he knew that Min likes him.
2) He was afraid that if anyone know that 2 men is having a relationship in the camp, the consequence will be dire. What more since Yunho was a captain, if anyone knows. I'm not sure if court martial is the only punishment Yunho and Jae will get *shudders*
Maybe it was more of the 2nd reason that Jae felt at that time, but I have utmost faith that Jae never wanted to intentionally hurt Min. Moreover, Jae never knew that Min actually kinda "witness" him and Yunho making love. So, to protect his and Yunho's love, he choose to keep quiet, even from his best friend.
Well, we could at least see that after the Yunjae got together, Jae kinda distance himself a little from Min right? I choose to take this action of Jae as
1) Er, of course to accompany Yunho (they are in love after all)
2)Slowly and subtely distancing himself from Min and hope that Min will slowly fall out of love with him?
-I know that to Min, it's as if Yunho is monopolizing Jae, but we know that Jae is truly a very kind person and not such a selfish person afterall. If not, he would not have risk his life to save Min right?
I've never blamed Changmin for hating Yunho..I only blame FATE and circumstances for what happened to Yunho, Jae & Min.
I know this is a matter of personal perception and I'm know if I'm worng or right at all but that's my deduction of Yunho's, Jae's and Min's charactheristic and actions when I read this fic...
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Date: 2008-03-23 05:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-27 12:09 pm (UTC)Hehe, indeedy this would be why~
Poor min...blinded by all that jealousy, heartbreak and ignorance. T_T
Let's give him some time to figure out for himself all that he's seeing wrong. ^^
Thanks for reading deary! <33
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Date: 2008-03-24 12:18 am (UTC)I don't think I actually like Min very much. I think he is delusional and people like that are often nasty or dangerous.
I don't think I'm making much sense here or my analysis is right! I've been celebrating my birthday so I'm tired from drinking too much 'bitter juice'.
Love this fic and your style of writing. I love the way you have written the characters. The love between Yun and Jae is intense and sweet.
Please, please give us more of Hannie. I want him to be my doctor!
Love this chapter, love this fic, love you too you talented person!!xxx
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Date: 2008-03-27 12:28 pm (UTC)He has put Jae on such a high pedestal that no matter what he will never see him as anything other than innocent.
So so so very true! Couldn't have said it any better! And because of all this, his mind-frame is probably making him determined to somehow change every noble act from Yunho into something tinged with negativity ><
I don't think I'm making much sense here or my analysis is right!
There's no such thing as incorrect analysis for fics, tee hee~. Disregarding his inexperience and younger age, in a sense Min is delusional.
I've been celebrating my birthday so I'm tired from drinking too much 'bitter juice'.
Kyaaa, happy late birthday!!! 'Bitter juice' will never get old. JaeJoong's brain pawns all :P
Please, please give us more of Hannie. I want him to be my doctor!
Do you prefer express mail or standard? HAHA jk! There will be more Hannie, he is too precious to lose~ <3
But gosh, you really made my day/night with your kind words! I'll try to keep my standards up for you all.. T_T
*hug* <333
Keep enjoying the bitter juice for me! :P
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Date: 2008-03-24 03:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-27 12:11 pm (UTC)Ahh yes that poor boy! T_T
Blinded by all that ignorance, jealousy and heartache. Let's give him some time to realise for himself what he is missing~
All hail the awesome-ness that is JaeHo haha.
Thanks for reading hun! <33
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Date: 2008-03-24 09:27 am (UTC)First of all, I'm rally impressed by this fic. I had read many fics last night and evening, mostly JaeHo AUs, but this was definitely the best of them. And you ask why? Because your style of writing actually made me feel how Yunho or Jae felt when you described the story from their point of view. (Get what I'm telling? I'm not so confident of my English right now :'D). Gwah, I have never been so emotionally messed after reading a fic.
Okay now I start sound weird. I'd like to beat some sense into Changmin and tell him have a straight conversation with Yunho, but I thiink they're going to have some kind of "let's make this thing between us clear" -affair. Though at the same time I want to hug him and tell that he'll survive, that Jae wasn't the one for him and Jae is happy with Yunho, tell him that Yunho isn't bad.
*gives you the rest of her chocolate easter egg* More please? When you have time~. I need to put this to my bookmarks so I can find it again~!
no subject
Date: 2008-03-24 09:30 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2008-03-25 09:35 pm (UTC)but i guess...
that changmin is young so he is more emotionally tied to jaejoong
while yunho is emotionally and physically tied down with jaejoong.
but then, if jae and min were toegther, they would do things too
no subject
Date: 2008-03-27 12:15 pm (UTC)changmin is young so he is more emotionally tied to jaejoong
AHHH~ so perfectly explained! I agree. He was too 'innocent' to really comprehend all aspects of what a mature relationship involves I guess. He didn't even really get a chance to start any sort of thing with Jae either...I feel sorry for poor Min T_T
Thanks for reading~~ <333
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