DUSK VS DAWN

[wild_terrain]

REFLECTIONS ON THE ECHO SERIES…

 Enjoy this rare opportunity to see my thoughts on both Echo of Dusk and the new sequel (And I have a money-back guarantee if you want to escape from the wild terrain that is my mind :P. Actually, that's a blatant lie because I'm broke at the moment...)

 I just sat down and spilled out a whole bunch of incoherent words. Feel free to read just one section, feel free to read the whole thing, feel free to read none of it. Whatever floats your boat.

 <3

 Looking back on:

Echo of Dusk

 

 

 

A story about faith, separation, global conflicts and unwavering love.

HOW IT STARTED…

High school stress!!! Haha

For one of my subjects we were learning about the wars. We learnt so many horrific details and facts that it really sunk into my subconscious.
Whilst learning all these war facts I soon began to have cravings for some happiness…what better happiness than to imagine JaeHo as a romantic couple in the Korean war.

One afternoon, I fell asleep studying on my couch and woke up with the basics of the fic. It all came to be from my subconscious. It was so weird!

So when I had breaks from study I’d think about it more. I never dared to write it for public eyes though. Another JaeHo writer, unbeknownst to her, convinced me to post it up. I realised that with my busy schedule, the only way I’d ever finish writing it would be if I had actual readers making me feel guilty for not updating LOL!

 
So in December 2007, I posted it. ^_^

THE ORIGINAL PLOT.

As always, one thing is planned and completely morphs into something entirely different. Scarily enough, the original plot was much darker. JaeJoong was supposed to be so traumatized that no one could go near him without him panicking and screaming out - not even Yunho. He wasn’t supposed to even acknowledge that he knew Yunho was there. It was supposed to take Jae many days and weeks before he could allow even Yunho near him.

 
WOW heavy, much! I completely underestimated Jae’s strength in those first drafts. Even though someone going through that situation could EASILY fall into that  delirious mind-frame and it wouldn’t be viewed as WEAK but just INEVITABLE… I wanted to see if having a loyal lover could change that. So I let Jae’s true inner strength become unleashed and pull him through the trauma on his own. Although Yunho and Hangeng helped him out a lot, in the end it was really JaeJoong’s strength that did it. So proud of you, boy!

 
AND THEN…in the post-war section, Yunho was supposed to be hit by a delayed depression from Jae’s assault and have nightmares about his lovers POW experiences...BUT ONCE AGAIN…much too heavy. Once JaeHo moved out from the war environment to their town again, why should they have to keep on suffering? A new environment is the perfect opportunity to make a new start and heal. So all Yunho’s depression flew out the window by the time I was writing the first chapter. ^_^

 
We want happy JaeHo!! In fact, the only thing that has remained the same in my sequel plans is Junsu and Yoochun's appearance hehehe.

THE THEMES OF DUSK.

Heroism
In times of vulnerability everyone needs a hero. Only sometimes people only acknowledge the stereotype of a hero. Handsome, courageous, bold, strong…

Yunho is your obvious hero – he risked his life to rescue the man he loved from the enemy. It’s like prince charming come to claim his dream princess and fight off the evil villains along the way.

But I really wanted to demonstrate that subtle actions also make people heroic. JaeJoong being the prime example – because of his appearance and outer personality and knack of messing even simple tasks up, people could easily take this at face value and overlook the possibility of him performing heroic deeds.

On the surface it really doesn’t look like JaeJoong would be classified as a hero. He fought a bit in the war and then was captured by the enemy for many months… what’s so heroic about that, right? Everything. He survived through that pain and humiliation – does this not make him strong? He saved Yunho from drowning even at the expense of both their lives and even though no one else saw it, does this not make him courageous? The night they broke up for the first time down by the river JaeJoong spent the night lying with Yunho despite his intimacy fears so that Yunho wouldn’t feel lonely – was that not selfless?

It is the little things that make JaeJoong a hero. Even though there are many times when he needs to lean on Yunho’s shoulders, there are just as many times when Yunho depends on JaeJoong for the same reason. Both have different vulnerabilities and strengths and what more beauty could one ever wish to see then a couple working together in such a way.

 

Eternal love
It is so hard to feel this sort of love. We live in paranoia that our lovers do not feel the same amount of love as we do for them. But as we experience the hard times it is soon revealed to us who our true friends and lovers really are.

JaeHo in this fic experienced more stress and torment than most people do in a lifetime…but it was this strength which whittled away the notion that all they had was a shallow relationship. They stuck by each other when logic would tell them that it was a hopeless case. They never gave up on one another. Their loyalty was unbelievable and awe-inspiring.

THE TITLE.
This first section of Echo of Dusk was always going to be the dark aspect of the fic. I thought it was always fitting for the title to contain ‘DUSK’ in it. After all, dusk is 'the time of day when the light is dim' and 'tending to darkness'.

In one phrase I’d summarise Echo of Dusk as the destructive path of the fic. So many things were destroyed (or almost destroyed) – YunJae’s relationship for one, JaeJoong’s general innocence and trust before the assault, etc etc. There were a lot of dark times constantly threating their relationship but they managed to pull through.

Anticipating the sequel:

Echo of Dawn:

 

 

 

 A story about discrimination, hidden love, loyalty and jealousy.

TITLE!!
Why change the title from ‘dusk’ to ‘dawn?’

In this healing arc of the fic, I want JaeHo to come full circle – they have made it past dusk, endured the darkness of night, and now they are starting to glimpse the light again as morning is finally there for them.

So, I thought ‘DAWN’ was the most fitting word as it refers to ‘the return of the light in the morning’ or ‘the initial stage of a developmental process.’ (developmental process of course refers to JaeJoong trying to heal his intimacy fears and Yunho trying to heal his insecurities as well.)

CAN I GIVE YOU ANY HINTS?

Can I? Well technically yes. Should I? Technically no. HAHAHA!
But if you have questions which aren’t going to give away major spoilers, I can easily answer them with a yes or no. ^^

I am quite happy to divulge however, that it will be more like your average JaeHo fic. Not as much of that heart-wrenching angst which makes you want to go through all the tissues and toilet paper in the house to dry your eyes, like with DUSK’s plot. Every fic needs its dash of angst of course but…nothing too extreme from now on. I swear. But you know me, so there is bound to be the occasional FLANGST. But you know what,  maybe I should change the layout to "FLangst." Coz there is more fluff now than angst. HEHEHEHE...I know I'm crazy, bare with me~.

 So what is the actual new plot of the sequel you ask? Everything I love reading rolled into one, BWAHAHA. Fluff, arguments, jealousy, loyalty…smex. HAHAH. In other words: your average fic with mild angst.

It'll of course be set in JaeJoong's hometown where the 'prologue' took place. Now that they have both finished their war duties they'll be returning back to their old lives...with one teeny difference...THEY ARE ACTUALLY LOVERS THIS TIME! hahaha. So Yunho'll be the sexy lawyer, Jae the yummy chef... (Just imagine the fun I could cook up!...yes, you can't run from my lame pun humour.)

CAN YOU HAVE A SAY?

Sure. I’m open to any suggestions you may have.

 Of course I’ve already got a plot set out, but there are constant edits I make to it, so if you have any cravings it is quite easy to slip them into the story.

They can be little things like ‘I wanna know what JaeJoong’s family is like’ or ‘I wanna see JaeJoong make love to Yunho on the washing machine!’ hahahah! I’m always open to new propositions. ^_^

WHEN WILL I START POSTING IT?

Erm... Before my university semester finishes I have one more essay to kill myself over. So I hope to update within the next one-two weeks. (That's if I'm a good girl and don't procrastinate with my essay by updating earlier ^^;;)

Okay time to stop talking.

I hope to see you all again soon! ^_____^

Comments

[love-cassiopeia.livejournal.com]

Oh my! FIRST~

[love-cassiopeia.livejournal.com]

The night they broke up for the first time down by the river JaeJoong spent the night lying with Yunho despite his intimacy fears so that Yunho wouldn’t feel lonely – was that not selfless?

I can't agree with you more~ Jaejoong has definitely showed his heroism in this fic (if not, more than Yunho). With all those nights at the North Korean camps, I'm glad that he was strong enough to pull through with the rest of his life.

High school stress!!! Haha

EXACTLY. It's great to escape the real world for a while, isn't it? XD

I'm surprised to hear that you were actually going to make the fic DARKER. I mean... I already cried like hell in some chapters~ if it was darker... I don't know what could've happened to me. I'm glad that you chose to gave Jae more strength~ ^^

OOOOOH~ Junsu and Yoochun appearing in Echo of Dawn? Horray~ I wonder how they are going to contribute to the story... if you don't mind me asking, WHO exactly are Junsu and Yoochun in Echo of Dawn?

I wanna see JaeJoong make love to Yunho on the washing machine!

hahaha~ I would love to see that~~~ XD

<33333

[wild-terrain.livejournal.com]

Hello my Cindy~~~ XD

Jaejoong has definitely showed his heroism in this fic (if not, more than Yunho).
Oooh I'm glad you think so too! <3

EXACTLY. It's great to escape the real world for a while, isn't it? XD
hehehe, yep, great for me! But not so great for JaeHo who cop all my frustration... *innocent smile*

I'm surprised to hear that you were actually going to make the fic DARKER.
I dunno what would have happened to me either. A week or so after I wrote the two-page plan I was so aghast! Just reading it again turned me instantly emo and depressed so I knew right then and there that there was no way in hell I'd be writing that original plan. I'm glad I tamed my sadist side. >_>

WHO exactly are Junsu and Yoochun in Echo of Dawn?
haha, yeh they are characters. I'd feel so weird if the whole of DBSK weren't included in a fic XD. WHo are they? Ummmm. Well let's just say that both are linked to Jae but Yunho is the one who meets Junsu first ^_~.

hahaha~ I would love to see that~~~ XD
You know, I still can't figure out if myself and everyone are just joking or 100% serious LMAO!! Oh the kink~.

Thanks for your thoughts! ^^

[sthlmsyndrom.livejournal.com]

Hello! ♥

I loved what you said about Jaejoong being such a strong person, and a heroe. I think it really came through in your story, both in the little things, and the big.
It takes a strong person to be abel to come out of the other side, and start to move on.

I can't belive this was suposed to be darker! O.O
I don't think I could have handelt that! =)

I'm really loking forward to the sequel, A story about discrimination, hidden love, loyalty and jealousy. sounds really interesting!
The discrimination is kinda inventable, isn't it? I've heard that it's still illegal to have gay sex (but not to be gay, weirdly enough) in Korea.

I wanna see JaeJoong make love to Yunho on the washing machine! <- yes please =D
And I have to do this, sorry, can Hankyung and Changminnie come visit? Preatty please? With a Jaejoong on top?

[wild-terrain.livejournal.com]

Why hello my dear~ :D

I think it really came through in your story, both in the little things, and the big.
Ahh, I'm so glad you think so! *squishes Jae*

I can't belive this was suposed to be darker! O.O
I don't think I could have handelt that! =)
LOL well let me tell you, a week or two after I first wrote the plan that was exactly my reaction as well! Even now if I look at it I wanna bawl my eyes out... I must have been feeling REALLY sadistic that day. O_O

The discrimination is kinda inventable, isn't it?
Oh hell yeh. Even now, eh... It makes me sad. T_T

LOL the washing machine! I honestly can't figure out yet if myself & everyone is joking with that or serious! XD

And I have to do this, sorry, can Hankyung and Changminnie come visit? Preatty please? With a Jaejoong on top?
hahah yummmm Seme~Jae! I'll see, I'll see. Wish me luck lol.

Thanks for all your thoughts! <3

[iaminlalaland.livejournal.com]

On the surface it really doesn’t look like JaeJoong would be classified as a hero
Indeed our Joongie looks fragile and weak on the outside, and the fact that the kid would trip on the hem of his own pants further discount the thought of him being a hero, but we all have different strength and weaknesses and so it would be logical only to have people with different strengths to be our hero. Jae’s strength was first shown in him surviving all the physical abuse inflicted upon him in the POW camp. Also Jae’s strength lays in the protections he wants for his love ones. I remember in one of your chapter that has Jae dreaming about his assaults, it was shown that what would pains Jae more is having Yunho witnessing the whole thing. If there is pain to be experience, then he rather experiences it himself then have others do. Just like he risked his own life to save Min only to be captured and tortured, but he would do it all over again if given the chance. Yunho is indeed the typical knight in shining armor, but Jae is no damsel in distress like I jokingly described in one of my past comment, lol, indeed Yunho had rescued Jae from the ugliness that is the POW camp and bring him back to the life in their camp, but Jae had shown Yunho the beauty that is love in the ugliness that is live. Whoa, did that make sense, well, it does to me, and if you don’t get it, well, I wouldn’t know what to do with you *shakeshead*, lol

The continuation of the fic as I said before make me wonders what will they encounter when they are back in their hometown. Yes the joy of being home and the war is over therefore more peaceful times for them but Jae are reluctant to be around others, and thus it would take time for him to adapt back to civil life. On top of that, would Jae share his nightmare with his family in order to get them to understand that he is not the same innocent kid that left before the war, or keep mum and have them wonder why he wound rather keeps to himself and socialize?? Another thing is how would a love like there, however strong and loyal they are to each other, be accepted in society during that time. It’s still the early 1900’s and relationships between two men are pretty hush-hush, and not only that be the different in their status, one is a somewhat well off lawyer and the other is a cook from a not so well off background. I would imagine a few jealousy ruckus would make their way into the story, but being the ever so patience and loving Yunho, he would understand his love’s somewhat depleted self-esteem and remain calm and compose.

Procrastination is not good, dear, though I survived nursing school mostly on that, because a 6 page essay that I write the night before it’s due always come out much higher than the one I planned for a week, so may be spazz monkeys like us just work that much better under pressure.

I can’t wait for the new continuation.

Lllllllllloooooooooovvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeee yyyyyyyyyyoooooooooouuuuuuuuuu

[wild-terrain.livejournal.com]

Awwww so sorry to hear again about the first attempt of commenting! *pats*

Yes yes, that was so heartbreaking even for me! I really hate it when Jae has nightmares about the assault. T_T

Yunho is indeed the typical knight in shining armor, but Jae is no damsel in distress like I jokingly described in one of my past comment, lol
LOLS!! I remember when you first said that! So funny~

but Jae had shown Yunho the beauty that is love in the ugliness that is live.
hehe yes it does make sense to me too, don't worry my little spazz monkey. It works either way I reckon! Each other provides the colour to the monochrome painting that is life BWAHHAHAA (I'm an idiot, I know, I know XD)

Jae are reluctant to be around others, and thus it would take time for him to adapt back to civil life.
Yehh, I think it would be extremely difficult for any soldier to adapt back to civilian life. No one really understand the horrors they've seen, having only been told censored news about the occurrences happening at the front. Oh I hate war.

On top of that, would Jae share his nightmare with his family in order to get them to understand that he is not the same innocent kid that left before the war, or keep mum and have them wonder why he wound rather keeps to himself and socialize??
Indeed, indeed! I wonder if he'd want to break his mother's heart though by telling her what happened. Or choose to give her a very diluted version of accounts? Hmm~

Another thing is how would a love like there, however strong and loyal they are to each other, be accepted in society during that time.
Right as ever! (And you havent even read the summary yet! Gold stars for you! XD)
ANd yeh, their 'status' in society could be a double burden for them. That's two completely different worlds you have there, with two completely different sorts of attitudes, behaviour and world views. Oh good luck boys. T_T

essay that I write the night before it’s due always come out much higher than the one I planned for a week, so may be spazz monkeys like us just work that much better under pressure.
Oh how true you are! lol. I'm exactly like that too (heyyy maybe it's in our spazz monkey genes~). I think maybe it's because when I do it ahead of time I'm distracted because I know it's a long way off, but when it's so soon and the results need to be done without dely I am more motivated and focused. Still, it doesn't help the stress I feel for a week or two beforehand knowing I havent done much writing! (For the past fortnight I've dreamt about writing essays THREE TIMES). T_____T

Love love love love love you too! :D

[cutiemongmong.livejournal.com]

Aigooo~ I have just realised that you posted this entry ~__~


Firstly, when reading the first chapters, I always kept wonder that "Oh man, how can this girl know all of those kinds of weapons so well??? Is she a...well, policewoman or a soldier, ehhh??? O___o" Now, I supposed that you have learnt it from your History class, right??? *hehe...I suddenly remember the end of last year when I had a super hard time to deal with the crazy guns, too T__T*


Ahhhhhhhhh~ DO YOU KNOW THAT I FEEL EXTREMELY RELIEVED THAT YOU HAD DECIDED TO CHANGE YOUR ORIGINAL PLOT IN THE END, GIRL? Huhuhuhuhuhu...I don't think I can stand all of those possible tragedies which may have hunted me 'wholeheartedly' every nights. Thanks gos that you love YunJae too much to let them suffer like that...phewww...

Besides, although the original plot also sounded intriguing, I honestly love your changes more because it made the most beautiful idea in the story, Jaejoong's courage as well as his aspiration for life and love, become totally outstanding. Yes, I badly love the fact that Jae’s true inner strength become unleashed and pull him through the trauma on his own. as well as all Yunho’s depression flew out the window *nod.......keep nodding, how could Yunho remain weak when his lover had been that courageous ^O^*


Well, I totally agree with you on your opinion of Heroism. Yeah, Yunho was obviously a hero but I love a heroic Jaejoong more, for this image was far fresher and more creative. Moreover, I myself feel that a humiliated honour and a tainted beauty is much more wretched and horrifying than a death. If Jaejoong had not been brave enough, he would have chosen to commit suicide already. And as you said, he was so selfish and strong, too. Not many people in his shoes could be like that. He was definitely the most admirable guy ever *Ahhhh~ how am I in love with Jaejoongie a lot more than my Yunnie now...wahwahhh =((=((=((*


Dawn, dawn??? Wahhh, it must be more hopeful. But oh oh~ who would be the one jealous then? Would Yunnie jealous of...well, Minwoo??? lol...Jae was a chef so I think they would prefer...ahem, a cooker than a washing machine. It must be dead hottttt~ *Oh my, I'm crazy XDDD*


Whatever kinds of story you intend to write, I still love it because I love the way you express their feeling. So, yeahhh, be a good girl, hunnie~~~ Update something soon, neh ^___<


Love u~ Love u~ Love u~

[wild-terrain.livejournal.com]

*waves and cuddles you*

Omo! There is a ghost living in the computer! I replied to this and then nothing showed O_O. *spanks the phantom of the internet*

Owww my brain hurts T_T. Attempt two.

BWAHAHA! Police woman!! BWAHAHHAHAHA.
Yeh in history class we learnt the basics of what sort of weapons they used but for the specifics I had to do some further research.
Actually, what was kinda cool was several months ago when I visited the war memorial a few hours away from my house and saw the real deal. I think it was a BAR rifle or something *really bad memory*. I hate war, violence, weaponry etc, but it was still cool being able to properly visualise what 'Yunho' would have been carrying ;).

Ackkk, I share the anguish my lovey. I still can't re-read that original plan without turning visibly depressed. What kinda evil, sadistic mood was I in that day?! *cringes*
But even if for some crazy reason I had decided to stick with the original plot I would never have posted it to LJ. ^^;;

I honestly love your changes more because it made the most beautiful idea in the story, Jaejoong's courage as well as his aspiration for life and love, become totally outstanding
Awww, thanksies! I love that part about it too! JaeJoongie, you are such a catch! *purrs* lol

Moreover, I myself feel that a humiliated honour and a tainted beauty is much more wretched and horrifying than a death
Awwwwwww!

Ahhhh~ how am I in love with Jaejoongie a lot more than my Yunnie now...wahwahh
XD, it means that you aren't biased. Kekeke~

Jae was a chef so I think they would prefer...ahem, a cooker than a washing machine. It must be dead hottttt~
LOLS!! I was thinking the same sort of thing as you. "Wouldn't they end up in hospital afterwards with numerous scorch mark wounds in....highly suspicious places?" HAHA

Nawwww, you are so sweet, thanks!!
<3 you, <3 you, <3 you 2. ^_____^

[wild-terrain.livejournal.com]

See...told you there was a phantom. As soon as I reposted it showed up. It's trying to mock me. OMG!!! >_

[hell-angel-v2.livejournal.com]

again, saving a spot to let you know i support you all the way. :D i'll be back to leave a more sensible comment. LOL

PS love the new banner, i hope the brighter look means a brighter story, too. but knowing you, its probably just wishful thinking, eh? hahaha!!

OH OH OH!!! i just read this: Not as much of that heart-wrenching angst which makes you want to go through all the tissues and toilet paper in the house... YAY!!! *huggles you to death*

[wild-terrain.livejournal.com]

Aww~ *hugs* lol

knowing you, its probably just wishful thinking, eh? hahaha!!
*innocent smile and sparkles* Moi? Now what are you talking about? XD. Nah, I'll try and behave myself.

Haha yeh, I'll help you save on your tissue expenses this time. *stands proud*

[wild-terrain.livejournal.com]

hey hey~~ ^^

Oh my, the wonders of technology these days! *pats her pathetic phone model which can't even take photos*

hahaha yeh, I couldn't end it just like! For plot purposes and sentimentality :P

cause im still planing to stalk the light untill it come full bright hahahahahaha...
Awww, awesome! Glad you are enjoying it so much! ^^

you dont know how relieved i was when i read this.... because i cant stand miserable, physically hurting an emotionally ruined yunjae... so... i'll hold you of your words here hehhehehehehehe.......
HAHA!!! Yes yes, hold onto my words! I don't really like miserable JaeHo either...only up to a certain extent. T_T

NAwww, thanksies!! You're so nice~. <333

[kahel-luna.livejournal.com]

i was wondering if i can request for a doc or pdf copy of echo of dusk? :D

[wild-terrain.livejournal.com]

Oh hey there XD.
SOrry, didn't realise you'd posted this here.

OF courrrrse you may request ;). Actually I've had a few requests and I was going to make an announcement next chapter but I'll give you the heads up anyway. It's a work in progress. Now that I have more time on my hands I am working on making a PDF version of it but I know there are bucket-loads of typos in the original document so I want to go through it to try and get rid of some of them. T_T

I've only done the first five chapters at the moment but I'm getting there!!! haha *passes out*