wild_terrain: (JaeHo Forever yours)
[personal profile] wild_terrain
Hi there.

So this is the most bizarre post I'm likely to ever make... I guess you could consider it a kind of funny story.

Consider me a lost puppy right now.

Basically, this weekend I was going to make a (small) announcement. That announcement was that I had a new fic I was going to start posting.

I am aware TB;MS has two or three chapters left still but this new fic was just going to be a complimentary project I could have fun with at the same time to balance out my emotions. (TB;MS is very taxing on my emotions. I love it but it is one hell of a bitch to write.)

The new fic makes me laugh. It's good fun even though it's not strictly comedy (FLANGST, baby). I already had a banner for it, I had an OST for it (for my own purposes, I wouldn't enforce it on others because we all connect with different music), and more importantly, I had a title that I’ve never wanted to change since the minute it came into my head over a year ago: Across The Line (oh the many metaphors). All that was left was a summary for it (and I think the majority of us cry at the thought of having to write a decent summary XD).

But... A lovely little spanner has been thrown in the works. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

^LOL sorry, couldn't help myself. He's too cute.

Let me start off with a little anecdote:

One day a very nervous but excited fanfic writer sent out her first TB;MS drafts to her beta.  (Yeh okay, talking in third person about yourself is so creepy so let's just stop that one right there.) Anyhoo, very shortly after I sent these drafts over, photobook pictures were released of DBSK in Saipan where Yunho was rock climbing shirtless. I FREAKED OUT (and not in a good way) because Yunho was supposed to be a rock climbing instructor in TB;MS. I sent a freak-out email to my beta saying everyone would think I was uncreative and I ranted on, predicting a sudden influx of YunJae fics where Yunho had something to do with rock climbing. My poor beta had to calm me down and assure me that she doubted there'd suddenly be an outbreak of rock climber!Ho stuff everywhere after AADBSK3. And as far as I'm aware, she was completely right. But this is just how I am. I panic about originality (I guess because I always demand the best from myself. Maybe I should seek help about that =P).

^ I know, Yunho, I felt the same. XD

I can laugh about that rock climbing Ho freak-out now. But something has just happened that made that little incident look like a sneeze.

Today I loaded up a new anime I was looking forward to watching -- which very quickly became my worst nightmare. In just the first ten minutes (ten freaking minutes!), I saw glimpses of the story I had started writing. Of course the anime's actual storyline is totally different from mine (from what I can gather from its summary at least), but that first 10 minutes is basically my brain cut open on a screen. So many coincidences. My friend was watching my horror unfold and even he had to laugh at how crazy the coincidences became. I don't know if this makes me a 'genius' or so very very uncreative!

This has never happened to me before. It's surreal. And it's awful. I put my heart into this fic and now it just looks like I had zero imagination (and tried to plagiarise a popular anime to boot). And as someone passionate about writing, I take these things very seriously.

This afternoon I wrote a 4 page essay/rant to convince myself to calm down because it was all okay and I had just been overreacting (I'm a little eccentric, please pray for my soul XD). I laid it all out visually so I could examine in depth the parts I thought were similar to see if there was any real damage at all. That was a healthy experience and I did indeed calm down, and was even able to laugh at myself for being so sensitive... I thought: "See, you big crazy goose! If you finish the rest of the episode, you'll see how it's not as bad as you thought!" But as my friend said, FAMOUS LAST WORDS! Because guess what happened then? Before my very eyes, I saw a detail I thought WOULD NEVER be in danger of being used in this anime ACTUALLY HAPPEN in the next part of the ep. I'm sure my jaw dropped for a good few minutes. It was such an obscure detail!

So now I am past getting worked up and just hysterically laughing!!

(Me: Well, meanie-poos anime, at least your character didn't _____. Anime: He didn't. But another one did. Me: GET OUT! *bitch slap fight*)

I mean, of all things THAT ONE OBSCURE DETAIL HAPPENED! Not quite in the same way as mine, but still! What the hell! And this is why I became hysterical enough to even be here writing this post like a crazy person. That one obscure detail was well and truly what pushed the train out of AWKWARD TOWN and straight into WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCK VILLE.

Hmm.. I know I should know better than to panic--the things I write, I write because they mean something to me and thus are something other people have gone through too on this journey called life. So of course something I, a human, has experienced and felt, is going to be something another human has experienced and felt, which will then also be used as inspiration for a story where other human characters experience it too. Long cycle. Loooong, long cycle.

BUT THAT ONE FREAKING OBSCURE DETAIL! I just can't get over it! What are the chances!
(Are you curious what that obscure detail was? I'll never tell! Nyahaha. It's actually pretty insignificant but to me it was still a pain in the bum-bum. Maybe if I post the fic, I'll point it out when it comes up and have another laugh.)

The logical side of me knows that a few coincidences does not mean my whole story is now worthless but boy is it annoying. I know what really matters is that I know I came up with THAT ONE BLOODY OBSCURE DETAIL years prior so my conscience is clear. It's just disappointing that something I was working hard on feels a little cheapened now... Ohhhh well. Hopefully years from now I will be laughing over this... (in a less creepy, crazed, hysterical kind of way of course).

Anyhoos... Blergh. This is not the way I wanted to introduce my new fic; I told myself I would announce its existence after I had written three chapters that I was totally satisfied with. Now I guess I am announcing it this way... But in the end, I believe in my fic. What has ten minutes worth of unfortunate coincidences got on a story that I've poured my heart into? Those few coincidences don't even begin to cover the heart and core of my fic. (And I am sure the rest of that anime is fabulous too *stares at it with mock stinkeye -- Stephen Colbert VS Rain/Bi Style*)

I think my next step is to reasses when the time is right to show it to you guys. What would have been next week might have to be pushed back further. I'll need to think more on this after a good night's sleep.

Well, if there is one thing you get out of reading this hot-mess of a post, it is this: please give me a hug and do not ever, ever, think that I plagiarise. As you can see, this is a nightmare for me. T_T

Annnnnd, if you guys have made it this far down the post, here is the working banner I've been using for the new fic! (I'm not a graphic person, it's the best I can do for now. ^^;;)

^ I swear to god that Lafuma shoot was a godsend! Just perfect.

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